Strip searches: how a little bit of your soul dies every time

It's stories like this where I ask myself, "Why the HELL couldn't you have become an entrepreneur or engineer or anything else?

Crowd Control; Occupy LA & Ron Gochez

My latest on Street Carnage is up.

I really can't stand radical collectivists. Or the ACLU. Or the National Lawyers Guild.

But I especially can't stand Ron Gochez, and his ilk.

TANSTAAFL - Los Angeles' Gun Buyback - a waste of money and a bad way to reduce crime

Come one, come all! Welcome to to one of the most futile exercises in modern law enforcement! Some really smart people, like someone who failed the California Bar four times think that you can reduce crime by giving away gift cards for groceries for ANY guns, in any condition.

Do you have a rusted, .32 caliber revolver where the firing pin busted off and it won't shoot? Handgun = $50!!

How about a .22 caliber, single shot where the entire trigger group is thoroughly corroded - the only way it is lethal is if it is used as a bludgeoning object. Rifle = $100!!!

And a $200 gift card for an "assault rifle as classified in the state of California"! Uhm, no way does anyone turn in a working semi-automatic rifle (or even fully auto) that works for this amount. You can't even find these so-called assault rifles anywhere in the county (let alone all of California), and when they do show up for $2000 a piece they get snatched up within seconds of the store opening its doors.

According to John Lott and anyone with the ability to think rationally, no criminal is going to turn his primary tool in. If he did, it'd be to either a) get rid of a weapon used in a crime or b) get rid of a crappy gun and use the money towards a better, working gun. I'm sure Ray Ray, Jose or Tyler will be showing up to this to turn in their primary tool.

Most guns used in crimes aren't these guns being turned in. If a gun is used, there's a really good chance it was stolen. The only way a gun buyback reduces any crime is by depriving the potential thief or burglar of a weapon. If you turn it in, they can't steal it now. Is that worth all this promotion and outlaying of cash?

Whatever - this city's going to hell in a handbasket. The illegitimacy rate is astounding, the poverty rate is not to be believed, the schools suck (even with social promotion and bogus standards, the dropout rate is one out of every five.) and if people think that giving up a good source of self-defense for a few days' worth of groceries is a good idea then they deserve what they get. What I do care about is the 2 - 4 hours worth of fucking paperwork I would have to complete should anyone turn in their guns that they don't want anymore that I am now saved by this futile crime reducing endeavor. I'm full Ron Swanson on this issue: go ahead, do your foolish, ill-advised, feels-good-but-does-no-good leftist thing - I'll root for the smart person getting $50-$100 for paper weights.

Using Twitter to Expand Liberty

Dear (Celeb, Journalist, Politician, Media Member, etc.) affiliated with Liberty:

You could really help out the liberty movement by following your Twitter followers back.

Long story short; if you follow back your followers, you then allow them to follow more people and thus have a much broader reach, thus spreading ideas about Life, Liberty, Private Property & Free Enterprise.

If you're wondering WTF I'm even talking about, please allow me a quote from @dbargen's excellent blog on this matter:

Twitter has a 2k follow limit. Before they allow you to follow more than 2000, you have to have a balance of followers: 91% or 1821 followers and then twitter will allow you to proceed past 2k.
You can simply wait until your following numbers reach 1821, but for now you cannot follow back any of those new followers. Note: Even after you pass 2000, you will need to maintain a balance of approximately 90%. However, it is easier to do with larger numbers.

The more Twitter followers of yours that you follow back, the broader their reach will be. Please help us out.

Thank you in advance & God bless.

Thank you, Sarah Brady.

Finally out of the Twitter Gulag.

“@criminalsunion: We accept your invitation to join your mafia, @bradytwitt! twitpic.com/6ugsp9”OMG too great!#VictimDisarmament
— Francisco Murphy (@bluesidetales) April 20, 2013

Then we had Sarah Brady immediately flip out.

@bradytwitt I was just retweeting something @criminalsunion tweeted.
— Francisco Murphy (@bluesidetales) April 22, 2013

And we have our smoking gun. Because @bradytwitt now has me blocked. Well done.

Twitter's response as to why I was suspended.

From: Twitter Support <support@twitter.zendesk.com> Date: April 15, 2013, 12:46:21 PM PDT To: bluesidetales <truebluetwentytwo@gmail.com> Subject: This is about the first or sixth time this has happened ... Reply-To: Twitter Support <support+id8756009@twitter.zendesk.com> ##- Please type your reply above this line -## Hello, This account was suspended for sending multiple unsolicited messages using the @reply and/or mention feature. These features are intended to make communication between people on Twitter easier. Twitter monitors the use of these features to make sure they are used as intended and not for abuse. Using either feature to post messages to a bunch of users in an unsolicited or egregious manner is considered an abuse of its use, which results in account suspension. For more information about these features, please visit our @Replies and Mentions help page: http://support.twitter.com/articles/14023 Your account will be unsuspended within 24 hours. Please note that it may take an hour or so for your follower and following numbers to return to normal. Be sure to review the Twitter Rules, as repeat violations may result in permanent suspension: http://twitter.com/rules Thank you, Twitter Support support.twitter.com @support Message-Id:1VHTKZBF_516c590d3d35f_64968e107027063aa_sprut The craziest thing is that EVERYONE tweets to multiple people!

OUT of the Twitter gulag, after 70 hours! The twenty tweets prior to being suspended.

Shortly after being sent to the Twitter Siberia I blogged it. Now that I'm un-suspended, here's a list of the last twenty tweets before I was suspended.

@dljholt hey I know you're busy, but l4l.org HQ's closer to u than me. We need someone to pick up the torch from Doris Gordon
— Francisco Murphy (@bluesidetales) April 12, 2013

Political pain = felony: Tea Partier charged for threatening lawmaker over Agenda 21 salon.com/2013/04/10/tea… via @salon
— Donna Holt (@dljholt) April 12, 2013

@ldnjr I'd still be #stuckat2000 w/o @dbargen
— Francisco Murphy (@bluesidetales) April 12, 2013

R.T. If agree twitter.com/Airborne80/sta…
— Michael Weiss (@Airborne80) April 6, 2013

@writchie I'm following u. Can I get u to #FFBACK?
— Francisco Murphy (@bluesidetales) April 12, 2013

@basruttenmma damn what's a guy have to do to get @verified?
— Francisco Murphy (@bluesidetales) April 12, 2013

@basruttenmma I can't remember if I showed u this streetbonersandtvcarnage.com/blog/the-fear-… re: Fallon Fox
— Francisco Murphy (@bluesidetales) April 12, 2013

@elcuervoes nice piece on MMA streetbonersandtvcarnage.com/blog/the-fear-…
— Francisco Murphy (@bluesidetales) April 12, 2013

@marcyathanbucy us conservative/ libertarian Californians need to stick together.
— Francisco Murphy (@bluesidetales) April 12, 2013

@iknowright2513 u will get more followers by including a graphic or pic rather than egg @dbargen has great strategies dbargen.blogspot.com
— Francisco Murphy (@bluesidetales) April 12, 2013

Post Reporter: Gosnell is Just a Local Crime Story: This tweet from the Post's Sarah Kliff is pretty revealing... bit.ly/12O5f9Q
— Breitbart News (@BreitbartNews) April 11, 2013

@bollbar I'm not kidding standfirminfaith.com/?/sf/page/21537 #CultOfMolloch #Gosnell@steveha_rris @chicodelainky @patriciaheaton @chico
— Francisco Murphy (@bluesidetales) April 12, 2013

As gross as @bollbar comments r, @episcopalcafe agrees w/ her as does #RevRagsdale @steveha_rris @chicodelainky @patriciaheaton @chico
— Francisco Murphy (@bluesidetales) April 12, 2013

@chicodelainky @windycitygirl21 is this when you pretend that you care about our military?! Most ex military are pro 2nd, random fact ;)
— A Bomb of Brilliance (@Oddly_Normal) April 12, 2013

Kudos (once again) to @patriciaheaton And, when will we hear from Pro-Abortion activist @evalongoria?
— [r]epublican (@JTofCaroline) April 12, 2013

@cnnbrk u DIG for this story, yet u wont simply cover #Gosnell. Your agenda is obvious.#lnyhbt#pjnet#TGDN#prolife#gettheblaze
— Francisco Murphy (@bluesidetales) April 12, 2013

@piersmorgan the most disgusting thing @bourdain could eat would be your character.
— Francisco Murphy (@bluesidetales) April 12, 2013

@piersmorganlive great. U'll cover @itstonybennett supporting #victimdisarmament, yet u r silent on #Gosnell.I know how to spell hypocrite.
— Francisco Murphy (@bluesidetales) April 12, 2013

.@piersmorgan so u'll RT a hurtful, incendiary piece about Rick Warren's family YET you're silent on #Gosnell. I know how to spell hypocrite
— Francisco Murphy (@bluesidetales) April 12, 2013

@ebbv what's it like to be a gelding?#IReallyWantToKnow
— Francisco Murphy (@bluesidetales) April 12, 2013

I guess I'm odd. Some leftist who screams about Reddit being sexist and racist is kind of a gelding.

Female Police Officers

My latest from Street Carnage.

Babies Are Not Weapons

"C'mon you're turning in a firearm. It’s not like you’re surrendering an infant!"

You can be guaranteed I’ll say something really close to those words whenever I’m assigned the desk. People turning in their firearms can be impatient. When turning in a firearm to a police station it requires 2-4 hours of paperwork (thank you, BATFE). At the semi-regular gun buybacks held in Los Angeles and other places people can quickly drop off their guns, get a gift card to a supermarket (in Los Angeles it was Ralph’s) and then within minutes be on their way.

Turning in your gun during a gun buyback is almost as easy as safely surrendering a newborn. Sorry, no Ralph’s gift card for babies. Although, that might be a good way to cut down on the number of abortions, besides making paid adoptions legal.

People turn in firearms to the police station for any number of reasons. A spouse dies, and the surviving spouse doesn’t know what to do with them. A relative dies and the surviving relatives don’t want them. Or they don’t want to go through the hassle of selling them because they have trashy, lame guns that are all rusted and won’t even work. If you are one of the very few who have goofy “I did this for Newtown” reasons, you can be sure the local news will put you on camera, even if you are the only person there with that goofy idea. If you’re an opportunist merely taking advantage of an easy way to ditch your crappy guns, no camera time.

The mayor is under the impression that this expensive program actually reduces crime. I’m not sure what crimes are being thwarted by taking already fired rocket launchers and mostly rusty guns no one is going to use off of the streets. What criminal is going to give up their tool in exchange for some groceries? The great economist John R Lott has several awesome reasons why gun buybacks are pointless.

Safely surrendering an infant is quick, anonymous and easy throughout the state, especially so in Los Angeles County. This law was put into place because of this type of evil shit was happening way, way too often through the 1990s.

In the Twitter Gulag ... again

My twitter account has been suspended as of about 1200 PST. Again. Once I'm un-suspended I'll list my last ten tweets and you all can see what I did, and why I possibly got suspended. I'm more than a little fucking pissed because this is the fifth or sixth time this year I've been suspended, and I never know what totally ambiguous Twitter Rule I may have broken to deserve suspension.

RT @bluesidetales is in the #twittergulag again. pls help! here's the story bluesidetales.blogspot.com/2013/04/in-twi… #TGDN
— Dale (@Dbargen) April 13, 2013

The only thing I can think of is that I piss off progressive leftists. Seeing as how they're so easily offended by facts, logic & reason I don't see that stopping any time soon. And if I continue to get suspended for merely speaking my mind it'll just harden me and piss me off more.

Here are some links chronicling exactly what I'm talking about:

#freeshanewright22 and more: Conservative users still trapped in #twittergulag; Update: Shane Wright freed, spam block attack confirmed

The #twittergulag saga continues: @gopfirecracker suspended, others still trapped; Update: @gopfirecracker’s account restored

#TwitterGulag denier Charles Johnson advocates suspension of conservatives’ Twitter accounts
(I have a very strong suspicion it was Charles Johnson who had something to do with suspending me. I won't make an actual accusation until I have at least a shred of evidence. DEVELOPING...)

Twitter CEO busts prisoner out of #TwitterGulag

Dissent for me, but not for thee: liberals justify Twitter gulag for conservatives

#TGDN: Hashtag to power! Grassroots set up Twitter Gulag Defense Network

#TGDN boot camp: Twitter Gulag Defense Network founder shares tips for avoiding #TwitterGulag

Twitter Gulag Defense Network’s website goes live, offers tips for conservative tweeters

Fuck You, Maddox

My latest, where I take down ridiculously popular and phony pirate Maddox.

UPDATE 12:00 hours:

Maddox replied via email. He shared some sensitive information that he'd rather not have put out on the internets, so an edited version will be made available soon.

UPDATE: 4/9/13 04:40 hours PST, Maddox's response is at Street Carnage here.

UPDATE: 4/9?13 20:05 hours PST, My initial response to Maddox's response.

UPDATE: 4/10/13 19:15 hours PST, My response to Maddox's response. (Keep up people!)

This is Why We Can't Have Nice Things - Part IV

(Also on Street Carnage as LAPD DIARY: ENTERING THE LESBIAN-COP NO-FUN ZONE)

Here we go again ... 

You have a good working relationship with a supervisor. His job is to make sure you're doing what you're supposed to. You work for the police department as a police officer. You're gay. You're a woman. Your partner in the unit is also a lesbian. You all trade back and forth some really colorful and completely politically incorrect barbs at each other. One day the supervisor really gets on your case to actually do some actual work rather than goof off. You get mad. Then the captain of the division dies.

Do you A) go on as normal and ride it out until you retire in a few months, maybe a year? or B) conspire with your partner and concoct a story that you told the now dead captain repeatedly the discrimination and harassment you suffered and nothing was done.

If you chose B, you're smart enough now to collect a total of $1.24 million and split it with your attorneys and your partner.

You're probably thinking of telling me, "Hey Francisco, you dumb ass, you weren't there you don't know the truth." True. I wasn't there. However, I have met both plaintiff officers, and I do know from multiple sources that whenever either officer had a problem with anyone they didn't hesitate to tell their superior whether it was a lieutenant or captain immediately.

The department will soon be the No Fun Zone. All that witty banter you saw in End Of Watch (and that I get to experience every day I work) will soon be history if this continues unchecked. There's too much at stake to let any gallows humor to continue if someone is going to cry "racism!" or "sexism" or any other "ism" to get a seven figure settlement. If there is a huge financial incentive to lie, enough people will in order pad their Deferred Compensation.

This is Why We Can't Have Nice Things, Part III or You Mean it PAYS to cross the Thin Blue Line?

Ohh, where to begin with this one?

Well, we can start with the sad fact that the best, most objective and most in depth reporting on the above case wasn't any local or national news, but some downtown LA news website I've never heard of. They make a great point that establishes some context as to why this case is utter bullshit,

One veteran LAPD official with close knowledge of Central Division, who requested anonymity because they were not authorized to comment, maintained that the office is not rife with racism or sexual harassment.
"There was no maliciousness," the official said. "What's very common within police departments is there's a kind of a tête-à-tête that goes on between people, and it's kind of what you would call, not from a racial standpoint, but black humor. There's a joking, a self-effacing humor that goes on that in many respects is tolerated, and in many effects is tit for tat and recognized as humor." 

Fuck, I don't know how I'd have made it ten years (let alone ten months) without the ability to joke about shit in some of the most politically incorrect, crudest and darkest ways possible. This job is fun, but it's also dangerous and you see and experience shit the average American just never will. Lots of times you have to let off steam. You can be irresponsible and abuse alcohol or you can tell some off color jokes that are funny, but out of context in a courtroom will have an LA jury clutch at their pearls, gasp in horror and award a seven figure settlement.

One thing you didn't see reported anywhere, was the defendant's star witness never testified because he was too busy being arrested and booked for a home invasion burglary. Alleged burglar Daigle was a supervisor at Central Division who wasn't chosen to head the Community Relations Office. Instead that position went to Sgt Foster. Daigle's finances were a mess and he was desperate for a payoff and was willing to throw Foster under the bus. He couldn't wait for this trial to conclude, and in true deus ex machina fashion he commits a crime before he can testify against his nemesis Foster.

Surprisingly, the LA Times didn't do a completely awful job of reporting. They put in witness testimony that the plaintiff (Earl Wright) was a willing participant in the shenanigans. Between the lines, it's clear that it wasn't until the defendant saw the possibility of getting his thirty pieces of silver that he began to cry he was harassed and humiliated.

No good deed goes unpunished. No one was going to celebrate the defendant's 20 years with the department. Sgt Foster insisted on buying a cake because he felt bad that no one was going to recognize the defendant's truly significant milestone. In the LA Times piece, it is a fellow black officer who testified that it was he who put the watermelon and fried chicken on the cake. I suppose Sgt Foster shouldn't have bought a cake in the first place, then? I suppose he should have forgotten Wright and worried about himself. Maybe then Foster would have his job and his marriage.

Oh yeah, Foster's wife didn't believe in "'til death do us part" and as soon as he was in professional trouble she separated and began sleeping with a supervisor (a captain maybe? I can't get a straight answer). It's like a regular Joseph Wambaugh novel with this one!

Please pray for the good-hearted, yet dark humored Foster. He didn't deserve this, and there's serious talk within City Hall that they're getting a hold placed on Wright's judgement. Hopefully Foster will land on his feet, and may everyone else get exactly what they deserve.

SUCH swagger!

How did Obama win the election? Like this; (big h/t to Patterico)


The above clip is a perfect analogy for Obama's '08 campaign, his first four years and his '12 campaign. You can read a long-winded, nonsensical and altogether not at all analogous, "hey look at me!" piece right here by Tucker Max.

Keep failing, then only highlight your success and have a completely complicit media edit, spin and do all they can to make you look cool and hide all mistakes.

Turning over a new (red) leaf

Hey fellow readers,

After much careful thought and prayer I've decided everything I've ever believed was wrong. Almost.

Jim Wallis is truly a prophet and should be treated as such. He is not a Marxist in reverend's clothing, he truly does speak for Jesus!

The above is FAR superior to the old stars & stripes. I can't wait to vote for Obama in '16 (Oh come on, you don't think Michelle O won't run, do you??)

I've finally got my J.D. degree, I'm ready to clerk at the ACLU, pay my dues and then clerk for as many progressive legislators in local, state or federal government and then run for office myself. I've had it with actually trying to prevent and solve crimes. The police are the problem!

I think there are too many guns in this country. Tony Kornheiser was and is right. The problem is too many guns, not crime, not our culture - not a lack of religion.

I'm going to change my name from Francisco Murphy to Francisco Ignacio Gomez-Murphy in keeping with my Spanish roots. I've learned much more Spanish and will become fluent and I will appoint myself a spokesperson for the Hispanic American community. Uhm... I'm SPANISH, not Mexican so ... advocating for Aztlan will be difficult. I'm thinking I have to somehow hate on my colonialist-imperialist roots ... I'm thinking I'll just bullshit my way through it like all of the other "privileged" spokesmen for the left have in the past, actually coming from "privilege" while speaking about being a member of the proletariat. Whatever, seemed to work just fine for Ida Tarbell and Sean Penn and a whole host of other fine, upstanding fighters for international workers.

Our greatest challenge as a nation isn't that we're spending tons of money needlessly, it's that we're under taxed!

MrColionNoir, Ben Carson and David Webb are traitors to their race. The only acceptable views to speak of in public for black people are those that are espoused by Russell Simmons, Toure, Eric Michael Dyson, Rob Parker and the like.

I think that women ought to be free to choose when to abort their babies. I agree with high level Planned Parenthood execs that the decision of life and death is between a woman and her doctor even after a baby is born. I think Rev Katherine Ragsdale is a wonderful voice of reason in this debate.

And today is April 1.

Dumb Reasons People Call Me, Pt 1

check me out over on Street Carnage.

Am I crazy? Well I want to be a Los Angeles Police Officer, don't I?

Before you can come on the job, you have to take a psychological battery followed by a psychological interview. One of them was the Minnesota Multiphasic Personality Inventory. One of it's initial primary goals when it was formed in the 1930's was to test for latent homosexuality. The battery is the MMPI plus one or two other multiple choice tests, totaling more than 1700 questions and answers that you must bubble in with a #2 pencil. It'll take you around two and a half to three and a half hours. If you're not anxious, mentally exhausted and possibly a little crazy before this, you will be after.

Once you're done with this, a few days later your results get distilled and processed and a City Psychologist looks over your answers and then you have a sit-down, face to face interview to flesh out any possible ambiguities or questions brought out by the battery of tests. For around the past twenty years or so, you could either get the male City Psychologist, who was odd in that he had a goofy poem printed out using Printshop on the front of his desk about handshakes.

I won't shake your hand, because you may have a cold, or I may have a cold. I mean no disrespect I just don't want to spread sickness.

This person is the gatekeeper between me and a badge and a gun. The other City Psychologist was a woman who was so germ phobic that she would only open the drawers on her desk with antibacterial wipes. I guess like it takes a wolf to catch a wolf, it takes a little crazy to catch crazy. I drew the male City Psychologist. Things were going fine, it seemed like a normal enough interview (not counting having to stare at the Printshop evidence that he's at least a little coo coo) when everything stopped and I got asked the oddest question. "So you were an intern at the American Enterprise Institute? They employ an awful lot of libertarians. Are you a libertarian?" I was and still am an avid Hayek reader, admirer of Nat Hentoff, Ayn Rand and Lord Acton and had while in college I attended summer seminars put on by various liberty oriented groups. I answered, "Yes." I then got a truly odd question, "Are you one of those libertarians who thinks we should have no government?"

What the -- !?

I wanted to say, "Well OBVIOUSLY NOT if I'm HERE applying my ass off to get a job with the City of LA. Only the most radical of anarcho-capitalists don't believe we should not have any police. Nothing in my answers or background indicate I am such an anarchist." Instead I offered, "No." He then took it from there talking about how he frequently listened to Larry Elder who is a black libertarian who broadcasts out of LA, and that he respects him for how smart and polished he is, but frequently disagrees and almost calls in and almost writes emails but has more important things to do. Like compose poems about not handshaking apparently. Classical Liberalism, and libertarianism means small, limited government. I love catching bad guys who commit violent crime and steal shit - clearly even Lysander Spooner would approve of the local government being so empowered to prevent and investigate crime via a police force. I always ask my staunchly libertarian friends, "Think about it, would you rather deal with a copper like me who understands limited government, freedom, liberty, individual rights and the constitution or would you rather have a badge heavy progressive / totalitarian who sees the constitution as an obstacle to work around?"

I ... I just can't, I can't!

I remember once in college, I had a professor say, "Wittgenstein was a really odd guy. He was this super cerebral philosopher and enthusiastically fought in World War I. When he was teaching a class, he used to a lot of the time show up like fifteen minutes late, sit at the head of the class for ten or fifteen minutes just muttering, "I ... I just can't ... I can't, I'm out of my league ..." and then eventually run out of his classroom.

Sometimes I feel like that with this blog.

Responsibility & Grace

Have you wondered what the young lady who breastfed her son on the cover of Time last year is up to now? Lot's. Here's a phenomenal and recent piece. In case you missed it, all over her blog and in the Time article Jamie Lynn was not shy about sharing the fact that she is a practicing Christian and was raised to be one also.

This is a truly remarkable blog entry. I'm astounded that someone "so young"* is a) this squared away in her mid 20's to have such sober thoughts, b) actually did this and followed through and c) wrote something very sophisticated and yet accessible about it.

When I was in my mid 20's I was doing all I could to stay employed as a Probationary Police Officer with the police department. I didn't posses the gear to organize my thoughts so well, and then follow through and deliver a message like that.

I was struck by how Ms Jamie Lynn was able to express her sorrow at losing her brother, yet didn't transfer this into anger at the person - or the organization the person worked for - who ended his life.

We hear way, way too many people blame the proximate cause of their friend or relative's death - police officers (and the department that employs them) or civilians (and the gun they used, or the Castle Doctrine or Stand Your Ground or whatever) defending themselves. Rarely does a surviving relative say, "Pookie / Jose / Chad just shouldn't have robbed that liquor store at 2am. He pointed a gun at the cashier's head. What did he think was going to happen?"

The author does not try do diminish her brother's responsibility. She lays the blame on her brother's crippling addiction and reaches out to speak with the officer involved. It's refreshing when someone truly understands responsibility. The grace shown by the author, her father and even the retired copper gives me quite a bit of optimism. When someone says, "What can one person do?" I think this young lady gave a clear answer.

I'm struck by this because I know this will never see the light of day in the mainstream media. the LA Times, local news and national news are all too busy trying to show you conflict, man's inhumanity to man and who you should despise to tell a sophisticated story that shows you the true beauty and grace of people living their faith in Jesus.

*so young is in quotes because our society seems to think it's a non-stop party from 13-30. How often do you hear about 26 year old "kids"?

Rollin' Concealed-Carry Style

My latest on Street Carnage is up.

Enjoy!

A BIG hat tip to Thunderwear. You guys rock.

Funerals Pt II or Daryl Gates - Oderint Dum Metuant

I don't like police funerals. No, I don't like line of duty funerals. I don't mind burying a retired copper who died at age 89, took the City for 30 + years of pension ... that's sweet. What kills me is saying bye to an officer who got killed in the line of duty. One of the things the movie End of Watch got right was how big, emotional and dignified police funerals are. In the movie, when Officer Taylor gets up to speak at his partner, Officer Zavala's funeral he's speechless. Of the two line of duty funerals I attended neither partner got up to speak. I can't imagine getting up to speak at a current partner's funeral.

I heard former Chief Bratton give two eulogies, one for Officer Ricardo Lizarraga and one for SWAT Officer Randal Simmons. His eulogy for Officer Lizarraga was very adroit and professional - it was what you would expect a Chief of a big city department to say about one of his fallen officers. As for Simmons' eulogy, I haven't heard it reported anywhere but it was a bit jarring. Chief Bratton spoke after a few family members and former partners of Simmons. The quintessentially unflappable Bratton was uncharacteristically nervous and unpolished. Those who spent any time watching him on TV whether it was in NY or here in LA know that he is above all else, polished and smooth. However he had trouble starting. So he did an old public speaking trick to get momentum to start his speech, he began listing who was in attendance. In his characteristic Boston accent he called attention to the dignitaries in attendance:

Here today we have Gov Schwarzenegger (polite applause) ... LA County Sheriff Baca (a little louder applause) ... Mayor Villaraigoza (a smattering of applause) ... former Chief Parks (nothing. Not even crickets.) and former Chief Daryl Gates - (instantaneously the Faith Dome erupted.)

Five minutes, sustained and very loud standing ovation.

Once the outburst subsided, Bratton's eulogy continued, and he "landed the plane" as they say and finished his thoughts in a dignified manner expected of a big city Chief.

I was there. I stood. I loudly applauded and I cheered. It was '08. I was tired. I was tired of getting kicked in the teeth all too often by administration, TV and print media who would all too often put the bullseye on me and my brother and sister officers rather than actual criminals. I was sick of Chief Bratton who thought the worst thing you could do was embarrass him on TV. I was also sick of the after effects of Parks' Reign of Terror. I had had enough of losing valuable tools due to political expediency. I stood. I stood proudly and clapped and hollered loudly for the last truly 100%, pro-cop Chief the LAPD had seen. I'm not aware that he ever uttered the exact phrase, Oderint Dum Metuant (Latin for let them hate, so long as they fear) but by his actions he sure did. For those of you unawares, the "them" in that phrase would be violent criminals.

Daryl Gates is not without his faults. My classical liberal (libertarian) blood stirs when I recall how it was his personal testimony in Sacramento that moved the state legislature to pass some of the strictest Victim Disarmament laws in the country. He often said odd things about minorities and was an unrepentant drug warrior. In short, he wasn't perfect. Only Jesus Christ is. But dammit he hated crime. He saw supporting the vast majority of good officers as a way to keep morale high. He wasn't some doofus in a Chief's outfit, playing leader - doing things he thinks are politically expedient rather than what will bring down crime - like we've had since. No, he was the real deal - not perfect but he was about letting his police officers enforce the spirit of the law and lock up criminals. Chief Gates has since passed away. All of us who take this job seriously will miss him dearly.

How do you say Goodbye to a great Officer? or Funerals Pt I

Special thanks to Stand Firm in Faith for the above.

I have attended five funerals for coppers who have died in the line of duty since coming on roughly ten years ago. I have to say, Chief Diaz of Riverside's eulogy (the one right above) is very good, powerful and most of all personal. I was crying throughout this, but I completely lost it when he began speaking to Officer Crain's surviving children. This was easily the best eulogy I've heard a Chief give.

Steve Byrne

Years ago, I was laughing my ass off at the Comedy Store in Hollywood. Steve Byrne was on stage, killing. This was when he was billed as half-Irish and half-Korean. He's now billed as all-American. Fuck, yes. While I'm also part Irish and half Spanish (not Mexican, gringos) I now see myself as all-American. I've had it w/ the hyphenates.

This night, he was at a part in his act that required audience participation. He was telling a joke about how to fight. So he's asking people in the 3rd row when the last time they got in a fight, the first two hadn't been in a fight in years, then he got to me;

Steve Byrne: When have you been in a fight?

Me: Last week.

Steve Byrne: What happened?

Me: I was trying to arrest a guy and he fought me.

Steve Byrne: (very confused) you uh... you fought a cop?

Me: I am a cop. I was trying to arrest someone.

Steve Byrne: (His face gets all excited) "You're a cop? CONVERSATION OVER!"

Adventures in Flying or Curse you, stomach!

Since I can remember I've been susceptible to motion sickness. From when I was really little like 5 or 6 and I'd puke after riding up Pacific Coast Highway, to my teenage years when I tried one roller coaster at Six Flags (Flashback) and then promptly found other things to do that day after it made my spine and neck feel so bad that they tried to remove themselves from my body, all the way until now. A great partner of mine got annoyed at this and showed me a neat trick that cured me 99% of my motion sickness that I’ll share with you. I would get nauseous in the black and white when I would be updating the Log of Activities. My partner told me that I don’t need the car stopped to avoid getting sick. If we were parked in a crummy neighborhood, that was not a very strategic position to be in. He said to look up, look straight ahead and reset your eyes on the horizon whenever the car accelerated, decelerated or changed direction. This would reset my equilibrium and avoid nausea. It’s worked so far every time in the black and white and elsewhere.

Among the perks of working for a big metropolitan police department is the sheer variety of jobs available, well over 200. You can be a patrol copper, like Taylor and Zavala from End of Watch, you can be SWAT, K9, Bomb Squad, a detective (within detectives there are a bunch more options) and on and on. Then, there's the Air Ship (or what non-coppers call the police helicopter). The Air Ship is our eye in the sky. If coppers on the ground are pursuing a stolen vehicle, or in foot pursuit of a suspected criminal, if we can get the Air Ship overhead our chances of catching the person go from really good to almost certain. The Air Ship provides the department with a distinct tactical advantage. It always has at least two police officers, one pilot, one observer. The pilot’s job is to fly the Air Ship - no small task. The observer's job is to do everything else: watch what's going on on the ground, give direction to officers on the ground, coordinate with news helicopters and airplanes to avoid collisions, etc., etc. These also guys get paid much more than the rank and file who push a black and white. It's also fun! Hence the two reasons I wanted to be in the Air Ship, money and fun. What else is there? So a few years ago I took the first step, I went on a "fly along" in the Air Ship. Air Ship officers get to wear cool looking hybrid police flight suits/uniforms. Seriously how fucking sweet do those unis look? Most of these guys are more than a little cocky. After going up all I can say is they have reason to be. FLYING IS THE SHIT! Flying over Los Angeles in a helicopter is amazing. First off, no traffic. If you want to get from the tip of San Pedro down in Harbor Division all the way to the very northwest corner of the city in Chatsworth which is Devonshire division (over fifty miles) you’re talking fifteen, maybe twenty minutes flying . This would be a two hour drive most days, a little over an hour at night without traffic. The craziest thing is how fast everything moves. I mean what would take you twenty to thirty minutes to drive to in your car takes under five minutes in the Air Ship. The landmarks look wild from up in the sky and it’s like you’re seeing a lot of the stuff for the first time. MacArthur Park still looks like a shit hole. The LA Memorial Coliseum is surreal. There wasn’t anything going on, so it wasn’t lit up. The lights from the city cast the biggest shadow over the inside, it looked like a giant, black void. I was observing the pilot and the observer work when a Back Up Request came out in 77th division, possible burglary suspects at Locke High School. The Air Ship abruptly changed course, and flew directly there. Once near the high school, the Air Ship began its orbit, which is a hard and continuous left turn. Our Air Ships don’t hover because a) it’s really difficult and b) in case of a catastrophic engine failure, forward momentum gives you the best chance at survival. The pilot sits in the right seat, so the leftward orbit is so the observer can see best. If it went the other way all he’d see looking out the side would be sky. So after about five minutes of this my stomach decided it had had enough and immediately began trying to free itself from my body. I must have looked awful because I felt green. The observer had told me to tell them if I got ill. Before going up I contemplated Dramamine, but I decided against that because I wanted to be awake and alert the whole time. So I chose a mega dose of Ginger, which is supposed to naturally do what Dramamine does. Sadly, Ginger was no match for five minutes of orbiting. I grabbed the airsick bag, told the observer I wasn’t feeling well and he said over the engine noise, “Alright, no problem! We’ll head in quickly. Just fix your eyes on the horizon and BREATHE DEEPLY!” I did as I was told and felt like I was going to spew my guts out but somehow didn’t until they were done orbiting. I was a little better once they leveled off and then made the seemingly 2 minute flight from 77th to land at Air Support headquarters. Once we landed I felt awful and sweaty in a cold and gross sort of way. I took my time and had a Diet Coke, the carbonation really agreed with my stomach and I then went home. I’m glad I went up. I used to seriously daydream about being the observer, getting paid well to ride in a police helicopter all day and tell everyone where to go and what to do. This dream was no more, but now, onto other adventures.

Do's and Don't's, Uniform edition

My latest is up on Street Carnage, Uniform Do's and Don't's. Enjoy!

I need to feed the parking meter ... in the middle of a gunfight.

Some background,about the North Hollywood bank robbery and shootout that took place, February 28, 1997, 16 years ago today.
"HEY, GET THE FUCK OUTTA HERE, YOU'RE GOING TO GET HIT IF YOU STAY OUT HERE!" said the Officer, (over DEAFENING gunfire)

At least twenty minutes after several hundred rounds have flown from the muzzles of two crazed and drugged eastern European bank robbers, LAPD officers actually had to chase people away from parking meters in the middle of the gun fight. Actual conversations went on like this!

 Citizen HUA (Head Up Ass) "But ... I only have two minutes left, I need to put a quarter in, or else I'll get a citation... (fishes for change in his or her pocket)"

Officer, (can't fucking believe what he just heard) If that officer hadn't been experiencing extreme stress and what Lt Col Dave Grossman has pointed out is the shutting down of unnecessary brain function - like coming up with witty and sarcastic replies - he would have probably said, "Hey, we're in the middle of the biggest gun battle in North American history. I sincerely doubt a) Parking Enforcement is within two miles of this place and b) will be here any time soon. GET THE FUCK OUTTA HERE!!"

If this shit were in a movie, it wouldn't make it past a single focus group - they'd all say, "Oh come on WHO WOULD DO THAT!?" Los Angelinos, that's who. If I hadn't witnessed much of this complete irrational nonsense firsthand, I wouldn't believe it either. Many of us want desperately to believe things are normal, and in the face of overwhelming evidence that they are not we will continue to act as though things are normal. I didn't know what that this phenomenon had a name. After watching Glenn Beck I now know it's called the normalcy bias.  On 9/11, some people caught in the World Trade Center after the attack halted their exodus to turn off their computers. A jumbo jet full of fuel just crashed into a building, it's burning and what's important is ... turning off your computer before you leave the room.

On the Titanic this showed itself when as the ship was sinking, live music continued to be played as the water crept up on the sinking ship.

I've heard of it firsthand with respect to police work, specifically the LAPD during the most violent bank robbery in North American history. There was an alright movie about the whole thing, 44 minutes made about it. If you watch that you'll see how gritty, professional, squared away and brave everyone working that day behaved in bringing the gunfight to an end. The only people killed were the two bank robbers.

I tweeted Charlie Sheen

@charliesheen in 90s I delivered flowers 2 u in Malibu Lakes u tipped me $40 a small fortune in 90s to a teenager thxbit.ly/YwYN2l

— Francisco Murphy(@bluesidetales) February 26, 2013

I tweeted this 17 hours ago, and already I've gotten two emails from people asking me why I'm such a douche bag. Funny no one said anything when I sent tweets to other people ... Chad Ochocinco & Ashton Kutcher are two.

First off, for those of you who speak real English, I'll tell the story in real english and not twitterspeak.

YEARS ago when I was still in college and well before I was a police officer I delivered flowers. One day, Charlie Sheen ordered SEVEN arrangements for his mom to be delivered to his house where he was hosting her birthday. Or something. This was a colossal pain in the ass because seven arrangements takes forever to load, and the drive from the florist to his Malibu Lakes bachelor pad very windy and steep at the top of a hill.

I begin unloading the arrangements and one of his friends helps me and shows me where to put them in the dining room. When I'm all done, I hear, "Hey, wait a sec!" and it's Charlie Sheen. He was wearing a San Francisco Giants long sleeved warm up shirt, he smiles, says, "Thank you so much!" and puts two $20s in my hand. The biggest tip I ever got before this was $10 from some poor bastard who needed me to drop everything and send a $150 flower arrangement immediately to his wife within thirty minutes. $40 is a small fortune NOW to a  flower deliverer.

So I figured I'd tweet this story to him, and then link to this site? Why?

Because I'm not helpless. But I need to make more money. Network marketing doesn't work for me. I have no money to invest in real estate or a franchise or anything.

For several years now we have not been getting paid cash for the overtime that we work. This averaged out to $500-1000 a paycheck. Even on the low end that adds up to a huge chunk of change. You try and live with $13,000 less. My wife works part time, she now gets paid half of what she used to. I work 3-4 days a week (all of the weekends and a day or two during the week) so we're able to juggle it pretty well so our two kids do not have to be in child care ever. They're always with us or a family member (God Bless both sets of grandparents!). The car that I drive to work now needs a valve job to run properly and that'll cost $2,200 minimum. We've had a few more financial disasters that I won't get into and bore you with but you get the idea. Our income has gone down, while our expenses are staying the same.

Don't feel sorry for me. I don't want a hand out or pity. What I do want is for you to shut the fuck up about me trying to better myself. I'm empowering myself to solve a very big problem. Charlie Sheen has NINE MILLION followers on Twitter. Christ if he were to retweet my tweet, all of those people would see my website and MAYBE if just 1% (90,000) were to click on the link, check this place out and tell their friends I could maybe pay some of these fucking bills. He was already personally generous to me, and he was generous to Lindsay Lohan paying off her income tax bill. I don't want anyone to give me alms, but a mention, a "wow, nice story" or anything would be more than welcome.

Gavin McInnes already has me writing stuff for www.streetcarnage.com (my latest).  God BLESS him for this opportunity. Gavin found me by Twitter. After I was tweeting about God Knows What, he apparently clicked on one of the links I put in a tweet, or clicked on my profile and then clicked on my blog. He loved what he read. The one he likes best is National Donut Day. If you haven't read it yet, you should. It's short and sweet.

A good friend of mine from high school who has made a sick amount of money off websites he runs  - www.mrhealthy.com being one - and continues to, advised me to have a regularly scheduled blog. Like weekly. Well after NOT doing that for two and a half years I am now.

Also, my Better Half got sick of all the pro-life, pro-gun and completely politically incorrect stuff I was putting out over Facebook. She agrees with those issues, BUT doesn't think I can gain anything by broadcasting it. She made the very valid point that it was foolish to take a strong stand on abortion, or any other divisive issue - when I work in an organization and want to be promoted within it. Promotions within my department come down to a THREE PERSON panel. Those three people decide whether you were the best candidate to interview for the spot. If they think you were, you get it. If not - sorry, thanks for applying try again! I trashed Obama regularly on my wall. What's to stop someone who loves Obama from remembering that I posted a NOBAMA link and then holding it against me? Looks like I don't get the job for a reason completely within my control and completely unrelated to competence.

I already had this blog that I write with a pen name. So I kicked it up a notch with tweeting. So until I don't need to make extra money, you haters can all get fucked.

I don't want to turn down opportunities though. If you have a better webhoster than godaddy, and if there's a better way to make money than this blog being on blogspot, etc., etc. I'm all ears and I'm very open to learning how to work smarter.

UPDATE: I'm also now on Reddit, doing all I can to drive traffic here and make an honest buck.

My Most & Least favorite Donuts

My latest is up over on Street Carnage where I write about my most and least favorite donuts. Huge thanks to Gavin McInness for giving me a great opportunity.

Moron Dorner

Very recently Jack Dunphy wrote an all too realistic piece about the stress and anxiety of being on a protection detail for any of Christopher Dorner’s stated targets. Jim Goad nailed his completely jacked up sense of morality. These are two of the smartest pieces on the whole Dorner issue I’ve seen written.

On the other hand you have pure trash. Dorner was called a superhero, exciting, “like watching ‘Django Unchained’” by an Ivy League professor. Not to be outdone,  Dorner’s apparently a “game changer”. So because someone is a black atheist, batshit crazy, violent and more than just a little left-of-center it’s exciting because now we get to have a conversation about all of the corruption and racism within the LAPD? Commit horrible murders and have your grievances aired? To paraphrase Dennis Prager, what murderer doesn’t have grievances!? Look, I’m not going to tell you there’s no racism within the LAPD. But to say the actions of a crazed, narcissistic mass-murderer are exciting because of the bullshit “national discussion” we get to have is moronic. He’s also not a game changer. He’s an evil, murdering bastard. You don’t negotiate with terrorists. This fat bastard was a terrorist. What we should do is look for red flags and “problems lying in wait” so we can prevent this from ever happening to the best of our ability. Given the overt and public actions that Chief Beck has taken, it is doubtful this will happen. What was his psychology exam like? What did his psychological interview turn up? What about his background investigation? What kind of recruit was he? What kind of probationary officer was he?

Some facts about Dorner that are not commonly known:

My friend, a veteran Naval officer was able to tell me that he was an unqualified flight attrite with no personal decorations and failed to make O-4 in the reserves. He ended his career as O-3. This is very difficult to do if you are at all adroit. I’m also told he was a ”1305 designator”. I’m told this means he failed either pilot school or flight officer school (think Goose from Top Gun). Those guys get kicked off active duty for uselessness, but they can stay in the Reserves and fill useless billets. As a black officer with apparently no black marks, he should have been handed Lieutenant Commander (O-4, but no higher). He must have had terrible fitness reports - as in, "fails body weight standards" which barely exists in the Reserve. Hard to imagine a 6’0” 280 lb frame would get low physical fitness reports! I’m taking a wild stab in the dark, but I’m going to speculate that he probably received sub par marks for effort and leadership, too. The units he was assigned to are dumping grounds for useless officers. In the police academy his time in the mile and a half run was 26 minutes. This is laughably embarrassing. That works out to just under an 18 minute mile. Just under four miles per hour! A Segway going uphill is faster! Christ almighty, I am not anywhere close to tip top shape, and I can crawl backwards and beat that time. He was delayed five months in the academy because, weapons expert that he was - he shot himself in the hand.

He was a liar in the academy and in his manifesto. The first lie he told numerous classmates was that he was Bernard Parks’ nephew. Bernard Parks is the most unpopular LA Chief of Police from recent memory. Darth Vader has gone on to a political career where his job seems to be to make the LAPD’s life as difficult as possible. This is not much different than what he did when he was chief, going so far as to foment and continue the Reign of Terror within the LAPD’s ranks. The Parks family quickly and strongly denied any relation to Dorner, blood or otherwise.

Another lie I’ll seize on in his piece is that recruits in the academy would taunt a Jewish recruit by singing Nazi Hitler Youth songs to him. I can’t believe this has basically gone unnoticed. No. Fuck no, in fact. This did not happen. I can say this with impunity for a number of reasons. No twenty-something police recruit who is in the LA Police academy knows of a single Nazi Hitler Youth song. Anyone who shows even the slightest bit of proclivity to truly malevolent prejudice – especially anti-Jewish prejudice – in the police academy is immediately dealt with. To believe Dorner, one would need to believe that more than one recruit hated Jews so much that they went to the trouble of dusting off sixty year old German-language Nazi propaganda, learned it and then sung it to the targeted recruit. I’m calling bullshit.

The last bit I’ll throw out is he only reported his training officer for excessive force a considerable time after she had given him an unsatisfactory probationary officer rating. So this crime committed by your training officer was so egregious that you reported it two weeks later and after she cut paper on you for being an unsatisfactory probationary officer. That's some unimpeachable integrity. You wait until you suffer negative consequences before you report your training officer for major misconduct. Wow, I can't possibly imagine why the department found his testimony less than believable.

The LAPD’s discipline system is not always fair, has flaws and could use some major tweaking. That being said, Dorner proposed no solutions – and even if he did the fact that he committed such unwarranted evil by murdering two innocent civilians, a Riverside Police officer and a San Bernardino Detective would negate anything constructive he may have had to offer.

Chief Parks, during the Reign of Terror was known for unfairly disciplining and firing officers. Ask any officer who lived under his reign (I was way too new to really suffer under his regime) and they’ll tell you he was an arbitrary, despotic and unpopular authoritarian. If we buy the justification and rationalization put forth by Dorner's apologists, one could certainly put forth a far more "just" excuse for someone assassinating Parks. Let me be clear, I hope and pray that Bernard Parks, and everyone who hasn't committed a capital crime live a long and happy life.

What possible rationale was there for taking out the daughter of the lawyer who defended Dorner and her fiancée? Taking out a Riverside copper in a truly cowardly ambush? And lastly taking out one of San Bernardino’s finest? Where’s the integrity in that? Where’s the honor to one's name in that?! How does this serve any discussion of race in this country? What game does this change?? This is quite possibly the stupidest revenge plot that has gotten this much attention.

My brother and sister officers and the families of all of the victims of this mass murdering narcissist would desperately like to put this behind us and get on with the grieving process. It’s a little bit difficult when every day the LA Times spits out a new story on this. The local nightly news stations are truly deplorable for their endless, sensationalistic and altogether insensitive coverage.

Reason and facts will show that Dorner is not worth any respect. I posit that he was a fat narcissist who had a completely broken moral compass. The only tribute befitting him is to either dance or urinate on his grave - then promptly forget this meaningless bag of bones ever walked God’s green earth.

End of Watch was great

So quite a lot has happened since my last blog post. I have another beautiful son. My Better Half is even more of a hot piece of ass than ever.

Oh, and here's my latest (and first there) on Street Carnage  (mad props to Gavin McInness!)