Saturday, June 5, 2010

This job isn't that tough or This is Why We Can't Have Nice Things! Part 2

One thing I truly hate at work is being treated like an idiot.  A lot of coppers have college degrees, worked a number of years in the military doing sophisticated jobs and are quite adroit at policework.  However, once in a while (seemingly too often lately) someone fucks it up for everyone, and I have no choice but to say to myself, "This is why we can't have nice things."

In roll call this morning, the watch commander said, "Be sure if a sports team is close to winning a World Series or an NBA championship or anything, that you're prepared with your helmet and baton.  If they call you to form up downtown to quell a riot, you shouldn't have to go back to the station.  Don't be like two officers who not only had to come back to the station to get their gear - but went through the drive thru somewhere.  Not only that, but they then were in the break room munching down.  Who do you think walked by?  The Captain!  Yes, he did.  Not only did he rip those officers, but he lit into the watch commander.  And as they say, shit rolls down hill."

Ok, I'm thinking to myself, "This job is not tough.  It isn't the Marines where they give you some food, some ammo, tell you where to stand you're expected to do it until they have somewhere else to put you - if that's minutes, hours or days from now.  This is police work, it's really quite easy after you're properly trained."  What I said out loud in roll call was,

This is why we can't have nice things.

I got a lot of laughs - I said it as a joke, but it's true.  One idiot ruins it for everyone all to often on this job.

I mean if you like yourself and your supervisor, why would you put yourself and your watch commander through any of this?  Wait - even if you fucking hated your supervisor (and he you), why would you do something that would call attention to yourself in a negative light?  If you truly fucking hated your supervisor, being completely inept and lame would not help your working relationship.  By being incompetent, you have now given this hated superior the go ahead to make your life difficult.

Friday, June 4, 2010

National Donut Day

Since I can remember I have loved donuts. Homer Simpson's got nothing on me. That being said, today was National Donut Day. I have never, and will never be caught purchasing or consuming a donut in uniform though. Sorry - I won't be that copper, the one who proves the dumbass stereotype forever. With the internet, camera phones and twitpics - a pic of me stuffing my face with a donut would be everywhere faster than you could say Krispy Kreme! I forget to get a donut before work, so this left me with quite the dilemma. I had to find a place after work. Good luck when work ends at 9pm! I really wanted to get a "deluxe" donut, with chocolate chips on the inside, with chocolate frosting on the outside, topped with chocolate chips. My goodness, I'm salivating just typing that out.  In any event, I went to two places near work and all they were left with at 9:30 was the scraps for the day before they closed. Hope was not lost! The place near my house had a few chocolate raised, I purchased one. Before I did, I clearly said to the lady, "Did you know it's National Donut Day?"

She replied, "What?"  I repeated the above, and she replied shortly, "Yea - I knou dat." in a sharp, broken English (I'm going to take a wild stab in the dark and say her first language was Cambodian - or Khmer to be precise). Some stereotypes survive for a reason. The rude foreign food server survives for a reason.