Tuesday, February 26, 2013
I tweeted Charlie Sheen
I tweeted this 17 hours ago, and already I've gotten two emails from people asking me why I'm such a douche bag. Funny no one said anything when I sent tweets to other people ... Chad Ochocinco & Ashton Kutcher are two.
First off, for those of you who speak real English, I'll tell the story in real english and not twitterspeak.
YEARS ago when I was still in college and well before I was a police officer I delivered flowers. One day, Charlie Sheen ordered SEVEN arrangements for his mom to be delivered to his house where he was hosting her birthday. Or something. This was a colossal pain in the ass because seven arrangements takes forever to load, and the drive from the florist to his Malibu Lakes bachelor pad very windy and steep at the top of a hill.
I begin unloading the arrangements and one of his friends helps me and shows me where to put them in the dining room. When I'm all done, I hear, "Hey, wait a sec!" and it's Charlie Sheen. He was wearing a San Francisco Giants long sleeved warm up shirt, he smiles, says, "Thank you so much!" and puts two $20s in my hand. The biggest tip I ever got before this was $10 from some poor bastard who needed me to drop everything and send a $150 flower arrangement immediately to his wife within thirty minutes. $40 is a small fortune NOW to a flower deliverer.
So I figured I'd tweet this story to him, and then link to this site? Why?
Because I'm not helpless. But I need to make more money. Network marketing doesn't work for me. I have no money to invest in real estate or a franchise or anything.
For several years now we have not been getting paid cash for the overtime that we work. This averaged out to $500-1000 a paycheck. Even on the low end that adds up to a huge chunk of change. You try and live with $13,000 less. My wife works part time, she now gets paid half of what she used to. I work 3-4 days a week (all of the weekends and a day or two during the week) so we're able to juggle it pretty well so our two kids do not have to be in child care ever. They're always with us or a family member (God Bless both sets of grandparents!). The car that I drive to work now needs a valve job to run properly and that'll cost $2,200 minimum. We've had a few more financial disasters that I won't get into and bore you with but you get the idea. Our income has gone down, while our expenses are staying the same.
Don't feel sorry for me. I don't want a hand out or pity. What I do want is for you to shut the fuck up about me trying to better myself. I'm empowering myself to solve a very big problem. Charlie Sheen has NINE MILLION followers on Twitter. Christ if he were to retweet my tweet, all of those people would see my website and MAYBE if just 1% (90,000) were to click on the link, check this place out and tell their friends I could maybe pay some of these fucking bills. He was already personally generous to me, and he was generous to Lindsay Lohan paying off her income tax bill. I don't want anyone to give me alms, but a mention, a "wow, nice story" or anything would be more than welcome.
Gavin McInnes already has me writing stuff for www.streetcarnage.com (my latest). God BLESS him for this opportunity. Gavin found me by Twitter. After I was tweeting about God Knows What, he apparently clicked on one of the links I put in a tweet, or clicked on my profile and then clicked on my blog. He loved what he read. The one he likes best is National Donut Day. If you haven't read it yet, you should. It's short and sweet.
A good friend of mine from high school who has made a sick amount of money off websites he runs - www.mrhealthy.com being one - and continues to, advised me to have a regularly scheduled blog. Like weekly. Well after NOT doing that for two and a half years I am now.
Also, my Better Half got sick of all the pro-life, pro-gun and completely politically incorrect stuff I was putting out over Facebook. She agrees with those issues, BUT doesn't think I can gain anything by broadcasting it. She made the very valid point that it was foolish to take a strong stand on abortion, or any other divisive issue - when I work in an organization and want to be promoted within it. Promotions within my department come down to a THREE PERSON panel. Those three people decide whether you were the best candidate to interview for the spot. If they think you were, you get it. If not - sorry, thanks for applying try again! I trashed Obama regularly on my wall. What's to stop someone who loves Obama from remembering that I posted a NOBAMA link and then holding it against me? Looks like I don't get the job for a reason completely within my control and completely unrelated to competence.
I already had this blog that I write with a pen name. So I kicked it up a notch with tweeting. So until I don't need to make extra money, you haters can all get fucked.
I don't want to turn down opportunities though. If you have a better webhoster than godaddy, and if there's a better way to make money than this blog being on blogspot, etc., etc. I'm all ears and I'm very open to learning how to work smarter.
UPDATE: I'm also now on Reddit, doing all I can to drive traffic here and make an honest buck.