This is Why We Can't Have Nice Things - Part IV

(Also on Street Carnage as LAPD DIARY: ENTERING THE LESBIAN-COP NO-FUN ZONE)

Here we go again ... 

You have a good working relationship with a supervisor. His job is to make sure you're doing what you're supposed to. You work for the police department as a police officer. You're gay. You're a woman. Your partner in the unit is also a lesbian. You all trade back and forth some really colorful and completely politically incorrect barbs at each other. One day the supervisor really gets on your case to actually do some actual work rather than goof off. You get mad. Then the captain of the division dies.

Do you A) go on as normal and ride it out until you retire in a few months, maybe a year? or B) conspire with your partner and concoct a story that you told the now dead captain repeatedly the discrimination and harassment you suffered and nothing was done.

If you chose B, you're smart enough now to collect a total of $1.24 million and split it with your attorneys and your partner.

You're probably thinking of telling me, "Hey Francisco, you dumb ass, you weren't there you don't know the truth." True. I wasn't there. However, I have met both plaintiff officers, and I do know from multiple sources that whenever either officer had a problem with anyone they didn't hesitate to tell their superior whether it was a lieutenant or captain immediately.

The department will soon be the No Fun Zone. All that witty banter you saw in End Of Watch (and that I get to experience every day I work) will soon be history if this continues unchecked. There's too much at stake to let any gallows humor to continue if someone is going to cry "racism!" or "sexism" or any other "ism" to get a seven figure settlement. If there is a huge financial incentive to lie, enough people will in order pad their Deferred Compensation.

This is Why We Can't Have Nice Things, Part III or You Mean it PAYS to cross the Thin Blue Line?

Ohh, where to begin with this one?

Well, we can start with the sad fact that the best, most objective and most in depth reporting on the above case wasn't any local or national news, but some downtown LA news website I've never heard of. They make a great point that establishes some context as to why this case is utter bullshit,

One veteran LAPD official with close knowledge of Central Division, who requested anonymity because they were not authorized to comment, maintained that the office is not rife with racism or sexual harassment.
"There was no maliciousness," the official said. "What's very common within police departments is there's a kind of a tête-à-tête that goes on between people, and it's kind of what you would call, not from a racial standpoint, but black humor. There's a joking, a self-effacing humor that goes on that in many respects is tolerated, and in many effects is tit for tat and recognized as humor." 

Fuck, I don't know how I'd have made it ten years (let alone ten months) without the ability to joke about shit in some of the most politically incorrect, crudest and darkest ways possible. This job is fun, but it's also dangerous and you see and experience shit the average American just never will. Lots of times you have to let off steam. You can be irresponsible and abuse alcohol or you can tell some off color jokes that are funny, but out of context in a courtroom will have an LA jury clutch at their pearls, gasp in horror and award a seven figure settlement.

One thing you didn't see reported anywhere, was the defendant's star witness never testified because he was too busy being arrested and booked for a home invasion burglary. Alleged burglar Daigle was a supervisor at Central Division who wasn't chosen to head the Community Relations Office. Instead that position went to Sgt Foster. Daigle's finances were a mess and he was desperate for a payoff and was willing to throw Foster under the bus. He couldn't wait for this trial to conclude, and in true deus ex machina fashion he commits a crime before he can testify against his nemesis Foster.

Surprisingly, the LA Times didn't do a completely awful job of reporting. They put in witness testimony that the plaintiff (Earl Wright) was a willing participant in the shenanigans. Between the lines, it's clear that it wasn't until the defendant saw the possibility of getting his thirty pieces of silver that he began to cry he was harassed and humiliated.

No good deed goes unpunished. No one was going to celebrate the defendant's 20 years with the department. Sgt Foster insisted on buying a cake because he felt bad that no one was going to recognize the defendant's truly significant milestone. In the LA Times piece, it is a fellow black officer who testified that it was he who put the watermelon and fried chicken on the cake. I suppose Sgt Foster shouldn't have bought a cake in the first place, then? I suppose he should have forgotten Wright and worried about himself. Maybe then Foster would have his job and his marriage.

Oh yeah, Foster's wife didn't believe in "'til death do us part" and as soon as he was in professional trouble she separated and began sleeping with a supervisor (a captain maybe? I can't get a straight answer). It's like a regular Joseph Wambaugh novel with this one!

Please pray for the good-hearted, yet dark humored Foster. He didn't deserve this, and there's serious talk within City Hall that they're getting a hold placed on Wright's judgement. Hopefully Foster will land on his feet, and may everyone else get exactly what they deserve.

This job isn't that tough or This is Why We Can't Have Nice Things! Part 2

One thing I truly hate at work is being treated like an idiot.  A lot of coppers have college degrees, worked a number of years in the military doing sophisticated jobs and are quite adroit at policework.  However, once in a while (seemingly too often lately) someone fucks it up for everyone, and I have no choice but to say to myself, "This is why we can't have nice things."

In roll call this morning, the watch commander said, "Be sure if a sports team is close to winning a World Series or an NBA championship or anything, that you're prepared with your helmet and baton.  If they call you to form up downtown to quell a riot, you shouldn't have to go back to the station.  Don't be like two officers who not only had to come back to the station to get their gear - but went through the drive thru somewhere.  Not only that, but they then were in the break room munching down.  Who do you think walked by?  The Captain!  Yes, he did.  Not only did he rip those officers, but he lit into the watch commander.  And as they say, shit rolls down hill."

Ok, I'm thinking to myself, "This job is not tough.  It isn't the Marines where they give you some food, some ammo, tell you where to stand you're expected to do it until they have somewhere else to put you - if that's minutes, hours or days from now.  This is police work, it's really quite easy after you're properly trained."  What I said out loud in roll call was,

This is why we can't have nice things.

I got a lot of laughs - I said it as a joke, but it's true.  One idiot ruins it for everyone all to often on this job.

I mean if you like yourself and your supervisor, why would you put yourself and your watch commander through any of this?  Wait - even if you fucking hated your supervisor (and he you), why would you do something that would call attention to yourself in a negative light?  If you truly fucking hated your supervisor, being completely inept and lame would not help your working relationship.  By being incompetent, you have now given this hated superior the go ahead to make your life difficult.

This is why we can't have nice things! (Part I)

At the beginning of the year I went to the pistol range to qualify with my duty pistol - something I've done since I was in the Police Academy with regularity.  This time it was different.  This time I had to present my police identification.  Then the range officer saw my ID, scanned it with an infrared scanner and told me which lane I would shoot from.  I knew exactly what this change meant.

It meant some fucking slapdick asswipe with no personal or professional integrity posed as his buddy and qualified for him.  Sometimes police officers are their own worst enemies.  Coppers get a ton of fringe benefits.  But being untrustworthy is precisely why we can't have nice things!

I'm just waiting for some slick defense attorney to bring this up during the next big trial.  Great defense attorneys are masters at planting doubt.  The next time a retired running back with bad knees stabs his ex-wife ... I can see it now, "Is it true you and your brother AND sister officers can't even be counted on to be truthful when qualifying at the pistol range!?  Is it not true you have to present your police ID because of integrity issues in the past?"  You don't think that'll plant some doubt?